I am naive. I know that. I am exceedingly gullible and if I have decided to trust an individual then I trust them implicitly to the point where they can use my own trust against me. Because of this my perceptions of others vary drastically on one side or the other.
On the one hand I can be quite judgmental, especially with men. I tend to have a hard time trusting that their intentions are pure and that they do not mean to do me harm. I assume the worst about a person in an attempt to protect myself from letting them take advantage of my friendship, trust, and belief in them. I've been hurt before by people I assumed the best of, who turned out to be less than resilient in their character. Therefore my thought process half of the time is, "If I assume the worst of them and they turn out better than expected, great! But if they were in fact destined to do me harm, then I have not been hurt because I never gave them my trust."
But this is not the process that brings me joy, or that seems most natural to me, the way that I, when uninhibited by fear, naturally perceive the people I come in contact with. Quite the opposite. When I meet people, unafraid, I see them as myself. I think of them as if I were them, putting myself in their shoes, wondering what their life is like, what they've been through, and believing that they are doing the best that they can under their circumstances. And I trust them. I trust that they are people of character who are not out to hurt me but rather see me just as I see them: as people. People with a story, a past, and the best intentions.
I believe that I can honestly say that this is how I truly perceive people; because I'm oblivious, which is not always a good thing but in this case, it is. I don't notice people on the outside much. All I see is whether or not they have a kind smile and honest eyes. Truly, that's it. Growing up I had someone in my life who I saw regularly twice a year. I loved them because they were always kind to me, gentle and caring. It wasn't until I was about 13 that I noticed that they were different. They did not have complete use of one of their hands due to a birth defect. I had never even seen that they were different. And they were. But only on the outside. The person that I loved was more "normal" than almost anyone else I knew. And that is how I see them to this day, no better, no worse than anyone else. Just themselves, and their resilient character.
